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the key   
10:47am 09/06/2006
  I do not want a relationship, but this guy offered me a key to his apartment and I dont think that he is that type of guy. It weirded me out. But now after telling me he was going to make me a key. Last night he did not call me. I didnt call him, but I dont call boys. It is one of my rules. He knows about some of my rules and he said that I dont need to worry about that shit anymore. I'm confused though. Dont tell me that shit and whisper sweet nothings into my ear and offer me a key, and then not call me later. its confusing and I do not like it. I mean its easier not caring. why do you have to try and confuse me like that. I like my non emotional attachment type thing that I got going right now because it keeps my mind focused on whats important in life, instead of worrying about some stupid guy who takes advantage of you and screws you over in the end. I hate to say it but I'm a huge bitch when it comes to this stuff and this guy is about to see a part of me he is never seen. He is trying to play with my mind, but ha Bitch you cant play the player. I know how your mind works and I will when at this game. Trust me. You dont have a chance.  
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11:59am 21/04/2006
  well i couldnt post anything on 420....i was too busy gettin fucked up....it was a great day of not caring about anything. o had so much fun with my buddies!!!! i mean i might as well get fucked up all day everyday...i dont have anything else that i can do.....i mean being a medical mystery is kinda fun.....not!!!! well back to more bed rest....come visit me please!!!  
well....if this isnt true i dont know what is   
12:47am 03/04/2006

You Are A Poplar Tree

People tend to look up to you, and it's a bit lonely at the top.

Inside, you are not always self confident, but you show great courage.

Mature and organized, you are reliable in any situation.

You tend to have an artistic or philosophical outlook on life.

You are very choosy in love and take partnership seriously.

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12:37am 03/04/2006
mood: contemplative
You think that you are having a blast with your life when you realize thats true, but you're going know where. you're driving down a road with nothing but more road in front of you. You don't know if you're going the right way but you keep going because you think that if you stay on this road you cant get lost. when really you just keep driving even more out of your way. sometimes you get lucky and it goes in a circle and you get another chance at it. but eventually you're going to drive so far out of your way that you cant find your way back and then you're just screwed. I need help.
It's a chance to fix mistakes,
One more for the last time,
Does it blow our dreams away,
Don't waste this chance with your smile
10 seconds left on this dial,
This could be the last time.
work hard for the money   
12:26pm 01/02/2006
  Ok. I know I complain and dip out of work to do stupid stuff like party. but damnit if i cant find someone to work, then i go to work and i do the damn thing....when you go to work..youre there to make money so do it....then if you dont do it or you choose to dip out, do not, i mean do not complain to me about being broke becuase i dont want to here it....ps....if you claim your broke and thats why you dont pay for shit around the house then go buy a bunch of shit at the mall and get your nails and hair done and show it off to me....not good! next time you ask me to help find you a second job...your ass is getting cussed out! tired of people.....i have tests too guys, but I still go to work and am not complaining about having to leave RIGHT AFTER CLASS because somebody doesnt feel like going in at 3 and im not complaining about being there all night....im ready to make some fuckin money! i got dibs on the party upstairs  
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diamond rings and fancy chains, hope my life dont never change   
10:39am 23/01/2006
  i hate getting sucked into the computer when i have work to do. ugh. i have so much homework and no time to do it. but i do love the shammy because i spent over 200 dollars this weekend on the party and i made 70 of that back last night and im working like 4 days this week!!!!! yay! jake can never come back because i like being on the schedule alot and so does everyone else and we all hate him anyways. gah im so glad we made him quit. go team shammy!!!!! anywho.....im bout to be even more big ballin' then i was before. what wh wh what what!!!! gah im lovin my life.....alright.....gotta get out of the computer.  
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11:28pm 24/11/2005
  so what are you suppose to do when the one person that you trust with all your shit and go to get advice from all the time wont ever take advice from you when you fucking know what the hell your talking about. and tells you that she doesnt like people all up in her business.....well if she didnt want me all up in her business then she should have told me on day one in fuckin eighth grade....maybe she doesnt realize it but im not in her business for my good golly jollies ok....damnit....youre with the scum of the earth....you let him hit you...you let him take all your shit....you let him live in your house...you let him take your car....you let him take control of your life...and you let him back in when he fucks up....most of all...you let him convince you that it is all your fuckin fault...when you know goddamn right that it isnt...wake up and look in the fucking mirror....youre better than this shit, maybe one day you will read this and then youll know how i feel before you tell me to get out of your business  
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01:51am 18/11/2005
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weirdness overcomes all with some stupid clouds!   
03:29pm 16/11/2005
mood: weird
Gloomy weather makes people weird. Everyone gets all depressed and just off balance....I hate it! Im still happy so they should be too. Why let the weather get your spirits down damnit! And because its the harvest moon that just adds to the weirdness. Everyone just seems so off this week and today....I just dont understand it. Victoria, I think we were right...maybe the world is going to end soon due to that large odd perfect circle around the moon Monday night. Everyone is just so weird today.
Happy Happy Joy Joy!
That is my response to all you downers today!
frustrated with the male species   
06:38pm 13/11/2005
mood: frustrated
After the since wednesday comes to a hault every week...all I do is look back on what I've done all week and realize that it has been nothing. I had fun, but I mean damn...nothing...absolutely nothing. I had alot of fun and maybe one day there will be a job where your job is to party and go out. but is that enough? I feel like I can go out every night and party every night and it makes me happy but yet i still feel empty like there is something wrong.

And on my next little vent- why is it hot or cold with boys. there are either the boys that want relationships which is oh so scary and there are the boys that just want to fuck and not give a shit. why cant there be the guys that would simply like to date....casually dating would be perfect for me and for them.....you can hang out with someone and be content with them and go out with them and still go out with your friends and not have to worry. you can talk to and hang out with whomever you like. and then when you leave and go home you can call that person and possibly go hang out with them....its the perfect plan...now just to find the boy. oh wait im not good enough for guys.

Does it make since that i truly believe that guys are not attracted to me except for their urge to bang me. I a tall skinny bitch with big tits that occasionly shows too much skin....so im the girl that they want to take home and fuck....they could give a shit less what i say or anything about what i do or even who i am or whatever...its just their sick hormones that make them think they have a chance of getting me in bed...and damnit maybe some of them could...only because sometimes it feels like they might actually give a shit about you or even think of you as a person and not just a piece of meat. well damnit i think that i deserve alot better and if they think for one second that im going to fuck anyone just so later they can tell all their friends that they hit it...fuck that shit

i guess all us girls are silly with our stupid crushes because my god...guys just want one thing from girls and we trick ourselves into thinking they give a shit when all they want is some ass...and they want it from as many girls as they can get....gah....i gotta do homework and convince myself to start thinking like a boy....maybe then i wont care anymore and i can just deal with things like that.
thanks for listening to my rant-   
12:38pm 08/11/2005
mood: aggravated
the weekend is over and im still trying to take care of things. I have always been frivilous with my money and I dont mind it. I always have extra money. So what do I do? I buy a keg for the Alpha Gam initiation party (when Im f-ing suspended still). You know, i feel like i do more for the sorority now, than i ever did- not just alcohol related either.

anyways- thats besides the point. so i bought a keg for this weekend but i couldnt get it myself because im not you know....of age...so i took someone who was. my only request was that the keg be returned on monday so that i could get my deposit back so i could put it in the bank and my parents would not freak if they looked and saw that i spent 200 dollars in 3 days.

but i feel like i dont want to mean to that person because i dont like being mean to people but she is really getting on my last nerve. its only 20 minutes out of her damn time.

oh and not to mention she herself owes me 20 dollars and she also went around collecting money from guys for beer and went and bought it before the keg was even out. and she kept the change. now if onne person paid for a whole keg and you did that, would you not give the money to the person who bought the fucking keg?!

I think that im just aggrivated because i think that i pay for people all the time because i want people to have fun with me and i dont need all the money that i have. but my problem is that i let my buying for people sort of serve as a test. some people get mad when i buy things for them, and i like that because that lets me know that they dont find out about my money issues and take advantage of it. some people let me buy but on the next round or the next time we eat together, theyll buy- racheal is my sugar mama and im her cake daddy- which is nice, but if you dont have that kind of money there is no reason for it, so dont worry about it. but the people that know that i let people borrow money and then they consistently borrow money and do not pay me back....when they ask for things (aka- if things are offered you can accept but dont ask for things like ask people to buy you a drink and dont ask to borrow money and not pay me back and dont hint at it like- i need this but i dont have any money)

and for God's sake- return the fucking keg so i can have my damn deposit back!
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everyone else did it   
01:14am 26/10/2005
  1. Your name spelled backwards?
haras renrag

2. Where were your parents born? Mom- newborn, nc dad newborn, nc

3. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Hmm.. probably CCA because my computer or it sucks….you pick

4. What's your favorite restaurant?
The shamrizzle

5. Last time you swam in a pool?
last week

6. Have you ever been in a school?
Nope….im not in one now

7. How many kids do you want?

8. Type of music you dislike most?
everything you can throw at me

9. Are you registered to vote?
now….not last election

10. Do you have cable?

11. Have you ever ridden on a moped?

12. Ever prank-called anybody?
who? Me? No….

13. Pick: night with close friends or boyfriend/girlfriend?
neither….by myself….jk….friends…yall know I hate boys

14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
yes to both…..except my fear of heights

15. Farthest place you ever traveled?

16. Do you have a garden?
not me….my parents

17. What's your favorite comic strip?

18. Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?

21. Favorite pizza toppings?
pineapples and mushrooms

23. What color lipstick do you usually wear?
I don’t….softlips…

24. Have you ever smoked peanut shell?

25. Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
No way

26. Orange Juice or apple?

27. Who was the last person you went out to dinner with?
michelle tumbri unless you count fast food

28. Favorite type chocolate bar?
reeses….anything but peices

29. When was the last time you voted at the polls?

30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?

31. Have you ever won a trophy?

32. Are you a good cook?

33. Do you know how to pump your own gas?
what the hell…..if you don’t come talk to me because you got some issues

34. Ever ordered from an infomercial?
Nope….always wanted one

35. Sprite or 7-up?

36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?

37. Last thing you bought at a Walgreens?

38. Ever thrown up in public?
Haha someones random yard…..someones car

39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love?
millionaire….sad huh

40. Do you believe in love at first sight?

41. Can ex's be just friends?

42. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Stephanie smith

43. Did you have a lot of hair as a baby?
I think so….i was 2 weeks late…

44. What does the most recent received text message on your phone say?
you don’t want to know

45. Where would you like to go at the moment?
to someone elses place

46. What was the name of your first pet?
Maggie may…..dog….pictures of me when I was a baby laying with the dog

47. What kinda backpack do u have, and what's in it?
Scooby doo…..yes im 19…..chemistry

48. Who's your best friend of the opposite sex?
I don’t have one anymore

49. What is one thing you are grateful for today?

50. What's your favorite color?
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01:17am 25/10/2005
  have you ever felt like you were the pimp shit one week and then the next you just feel like shit.....well i feel like shit....ahhhhh  
GO DAWGS!!!!!!!!   
02:04pm 24/10/2005
  GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DAWGS....SIC 'EM ROOOF ROOOF ROOOOF ROOOF!!!!!!! UGA WAS AWESOME! ATHENS WAS AWESOME! WE WON THE GAME, I GOT DRUNK! MY BROTHER SAYS IM TOO WILD AND I JUST ALL IN ALL HAD A BLAST!!!! even though i got pulled over on the way there with an open container....just a speeding ticket though....i dont want to tell the rents....someone come with me. tired.....nap time  
hahahahahahahahaha...im a psyco who needs to take my medicine   
02:09pm 20/10/2005
  Is it sad that I dont care?....about anything....hahaha....i love my life  
im such a sad person   
10:28pm 18/10/2005
  so is it bad that im jealous of LC on the laguna beach show....she got jason....hes so my type.  
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i dont think its all true...but i am attracted to asshole player wannabes....damnit   
03:18pm 17/10/2005
mood: blah
Genghis Khunt
Random Brutal Sex Master (RBSMf)

We almost called you Brutus the Uterus and attached this picture:

But we figured you wouldn't understand, and rightly so. We don't understand either. So you are Genghis Khunt: master of man, bringer of pain--riding your way to conquest after conquest.

Your sexual avarice is legendary. You've already had an unusually high amount of experience, and, still you look for more. You intimidate many. You make no apologies.

Your exact opposite:
The Sonnet

Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer
Personality-wise, you're carefree and relatively easy-going. You don't plan things out ahead of time; you tend to live in the moment. Of course, this can cause some damage when the moment happens to include a screaming orgasm with his younger brother. Hence the 'brutal' tag we've given you.

But you know what, take five seconds to lock the doors, and you'll be fine. There's nothing wrong with a little sex, or a whole lot.

AVOID: The Slow Dancer
CONSIDER: The 5-Night Stand, The Hornivore, The Playboy

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.
My profile name: sincero15
not sure   
11:20pm 16/10/2005
mood: sick
You'd think that the philosophical thoughts would stop after a while. But here is another one to add to the book. do you think that someone can hide who they are for nineteen years of their lives. I mean truly hide who they are. The only time i feel myself is when im under the influence....and even then im not who i want to be....but im the closest to it. I always wondered why i loved it....I cannot even think about any of this anymore though....all i want to do is be myself without people putting me in a category that really is not fair at all....have you ever been put it the category of something that you absolutely do not qualify for. I may have made some mistakes in my life....actually mistakes i will admit to being mistakes...i wish i could say that i'm perfect....but im not, no one is...but for real....ive made mistakes that if i could go back and do it all over....i would go through highschool and everything ive worked so hard for...id go back and work just as hard all over again....for what...not to gain anything new...but to simply erase some of my stupid things...but you know i cant erase them...then what....can i change and hope people dont judge the way i act and consider it to be something other than me being who i am....i smoke, i drink, i dance, i sing-im tonedef, i act crazy....but you know....thats just me...ive been this way since i could walk...
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09:26pm 06/10/2005
mood: bouncy
Take the quiz: "Can U Suck Dick? experience gurls only (PICTURES!!) 18 plus"

Dang gurl, too much dick isn't enough huh?
You're tha queen of dick suckin, you kno how to pleasure men maybe ur jus a natural or u jus had too many experiences. dont matter, guys love stickin their dicks in yo mouth. Penises are your friend and kno how to treat them well hehe you know how to handle every size dick out there, huh

Take the quiz: "What is ur hottest body part? (ladies only)"

All of it
ya im hot as hell, let me suck ur cock now!

Take the quiz: "what alcholic beverage are you?"

you are wild, and full of pizzaze, you are not afraid to show your true colors! you are a margarita!

Take the quiz: "Which Smirnoff Twisted V flavor are you?"

You are engergetic and crazy (not in like a psycho murderer way though). Chances are, you are the life of the party and rebellious! YOU ROCK!

Just a few I thought were funny! Haha! Try them!
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WHY ME???   
12:51pm 06/10/2005
mood: depressed
Life....whats the point....you are on top of the world one second with everything you could have ever dremaed of....you have a boyfriend, your in a sorority with tons on friends, youre doing good in school...you have a job...then everything slowly fades....you start hangin out with your friends from highschool more and your boyfriend more....then your grades drop and you lose your sorority and all the friends that came with it....then you lose your other friends with stupid drama as bullshit that should have never happened.....then you go through the summer and you notice youre on the road to absolutely nothing... so you keep your job-duh-source of income...but you give up everything else in hopes to make everything better...in hopes for a second chance...nope-wrong...im back in school with hardly any friends at school....still no sorority....no boyfriend...and 1 friend outside of school. Yeah im doing better in school but thats because i lack the social life that everyone needs. instead of going to lunch with people i get a togo box and go straight to my room. yeah so im one of those...but i shouldnt be. this is not my fault. im a very likable person, or so i thought. now, i dont have anyone or anyway of meeting anyone...sure going out and going to parties...oh yeah..you have to have someone to go with you to those things...the few friends i do have all have boyfriends- ALL OF THEM. so once again....im alone...just like when i started school last year...but oh yeah i still had friends off campus then too. see i kind of stopped being friends with all the people who i thought were going no where in their lives and so again...now stuck with nothing and no one...like i said...top of the world....and now im done....i will spend the rest of my life in my room doing homework....which means i need to get an apartment....for cigarettes, alcohol, and you know...other stuff
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